Tamar

Tamar was a Gentile woman whose husband died before they had children.  Her community’s tradition was that a deceased husband’s brother married his brother’s widow, so their children continued the deceased brother’s lineage. In keeping with the custom of that time, Tamar’s father-in-law Judah told his second son Onan to marry Tamar.  Their marriage was consummated but Onan refused to impregnate Tamar because the child would not be his progeny.  This displeased God and Onan died. There was a third son, but Judah fearing he might also die, told Tamar to return to her father as a widow and wait for the third son to marry her.

After many months, Tamar realized Judah’s son was not going to marry her. She knew she was entitled to have children from her husband’s lineage.  Judah’s wife died and Tamar learned he would be traveling to another town.  She took off her widow’s clothes and disguised herself as a prostitute. She sat by the gate of the town Judah was traveling to. When he saw her, he did not realize who she was. He bid her to have sex with him.   She asked what she would get in exchange. Judah said he would send her a baby goat from his flock.  She agreed, but said she wanted something of his as insurance. When he asked what she wanted, she told him to give her his ring, bracelets, and his walking staff. When Judah tried to send Tamar the kid, he promised her, she could not be found.

When Judah learned Tamar was pregnant out of wedlock, he was incensed. He ordered that she be killed. When she produced the jewelry and staff he had given her, Judah realized the child she carried was his and that he could not kill her. He admitted he was at fault saying he had not fulfilled his responsibility to have his youngest son marry her. Tamar gave birth to twins Perez and Zerah.

Biblical Principles

• Tamar took matters into her own hands when she was treated unfairly by her brother-in-law and father-in-law. (Genesis 38:16)
• She was smart enough to anticipate that Judah would attempt to discredit her, so she got proof that they had been together. (Genesis 38:18)
• Judah had to admit that Tamar was telling the truth when she confronted him with proof they had been together (Genesis 38:26)
• Tamar’s unconventional actions were ordained by God because she was destined to be the mother Jesus’s ancestor Perez. (Matthew 1:3)

For Women Today

In Tamar’s time and even today society may have found her actions to be unacceptable. But if we feel we have been wronged or we have not been given something we are entitled to what can we do?  We turn to God asking His will for us in that situation. Acting in a time of hurt and confusion without God’s guidance can lead to trouble and even more heartache.  “What should I do Father? In my hour of need and hurt I come to you for Your direction.” What Tamar did was quite unusual, but God saw her through her time of need and despair. God will sometimes take us in a direction that may seem strange, but if our hand is in God’s hand, He will guide and direct us.  As strange as Tamar’s actions were, she had God’s blessing.  She is one of only four women in Jesus’s lineage. Her son Perez was Jesus’s ancestor.  He fathered Boaz who married Ruth.

Prayer before action is what we learn from Tamar’s life. We must ask God His will in every situation. God is there a better alternative?  God are you with me in this?

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. (James 1:5)